What if She’s Willing to do it?


December 12, 2012 by mattfradd


What if she’s willing to do it?

Thanks to Jason Evert for writing the following guest article:

When a woman forgets her dignity, what should be a man’s response toward her?

Sadly, millions of men see the “adult” industry as nothing more than opportunity to take from a woman everything she is willing to offer them.

Such men dismisses their duty to love women, hiding their shameful habits behind a single petty excuse: “She’s willing to do it.”

But how does her inability to see her own dignity absolve a man from his responsibility to acknowledge it? In fact, at the very moment a woman loses sight of her value, what she needs most is someone who loves her enough to remind her of it.

Take, for example, a friend of mine named Matt Fradd, who was the youth minister of a young woman who would later become a stripper. A few months after taking the job to pay off personal debt, she agreed to allow Matt to interview her (Click here for the full interview).

As you are about to read, her honesty and bluntness show how much damage is being caused to women in the industry, even if they are willing to endure it.

When asked what her job was like—being lusted after by men who care nothing of her—she answered:

It makes me feel sick. A lot of the time I try to imagine they’re not there or

something but part of it is making them feel special. Looking into their eyes

is really important. I hate having to do that because I hate them all. I always

have thoughts like ‘I hate you so much. Please die.’ . . . I only work on

Saturdays. I’d hate to do it more than once a week. It’s mentally and physically

exhausting. Having . . . to sit and talk to guys and act interested in their

lives is the worst part. . . . When I work there, I buy so much alcohol to cope

with it or  even while I’m getting ready for work, I’ll have a bottle of vodka or

rum in my room so I can cope with the night and a lot of money I earn goes on

that. But I don’t even drink most of the time when I go out with my friends.

Just Saturday nights when I know what I have to face. . . . The job has made

me completely lose faith in love, marriage (yes, nearly all the regulars

are married) and decent men. I’ve come to hate men so much. I’ve tried

having a few relationships since I started this job and I just couldn’t feel

anything for anyone anymore.”

When asked what she would say to men who visit strip clubs, she responded:

“You go there to get turned on or to be made to think that you’re special to

these girls or that they want you. They don’t want you at all . . . . they resent

you completely. And I can’t understand how a guy could get turned on by

the fact that these girls are faking being interested in them. The girls

don’t want you, they want your money. The girls act like they’re having fun

but they’re not. They’re the best actresses in the world!!”

Thankfully, she quit her job shortly after this interview. Please keep her, and all people in the “adult” industry in your prayers. In fact, why not pray a Hail Mary for her right now?

3 thoughts on “What if She’s Willing to do it?

  1. God bless her. I too, have been there and done that. What is often hidden, is the background of these people: why they got into porn in the first place? Most of the ladies I knew had been sexually abused as children, and or neglected. Most of the guys, like me, had very early exposure to porn. None of us really wanted to be there. But we got acceptance, what appeared to be love, and surrogate family.

  2. Steve says:

    This post reminded me of The song “The A Team” by Ed Sheeran. Very moving song.

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