Oh Chastity is Hard? Man Up!


May 10, 2013 by mattfradd

“There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death” (Proverbs 14:12).

pornography, masturbation, adultery, fornication etc. may seem right, but they bring unhappiness in this life and, if one dies unrepentant, eternal damnation in the next.

In his second letter to Timothy, St. Paul wrote “For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own likings” (2 Tim 4:3).

Let’s be honest, many of us, myself included, can fall prey to the temptation of listening only to soft words of encouragement, words that one may need to hear after a fall but not before. Many of us—perhaps you!—need a swift, spiritual kick in the pants.

Get ready!

 In his book, Saints in the World. Jesus Urteaga writes:

“But sometime later we meet again. You are completely changed. What has happened to you?

Where is that energy, that love which you had, that enthusiasm, that vigor with which you began?

You see me in the distance, and you speak to me only with your silence and downcast eyes.

At last you take courage and speak, and you blurt out some ridiculous explanation: ‘It was only a mistake, a childish mistake…being chaste is too hard! I can’t do it!’

Well in reply to such nonsensical reasons, such silly arguments, all I can say is, you coward!

Your eyes blaze and you stare at me, but I’m not afraid to say it again. You coward! You ‘Can’t’–what you mean is, you don’t want to! With people like you, Christianity would have died out long before the time of the catacombs! . . .

I am telling you right now: there are duties  which must not be avoided, regardless of how downhearted or discouraged you may be.

3 Necessary Truths About Sexual Temptation

1. There is no middle course. Animal or saint: choose! – Fr. Jesus Urteaga

2. “Say to your body: ‘I would rather keep you in slavery than be myself your slave.” – Saint Josemaría Escrivá

3. “Never despair. Lazarus was dead and decaying:…’by now he will smell; this is the fourth day in day,’ Martha told Jesus. If you hear the inspiration of God and follow it-…’Lazarus, come forth!’- you will return to Life” – Saint Josemaría Escrivá

To those of you who think this advice eccentric, I submit to you the words of Fr. Jesus Urteaga:

Continue with that out-of-focus, useless life of yours. Let your go-with-the-flow feelings overcome you as usual at the time for getting up.

Go to bed any old time, whenever you happen to feel like it. Make no effort to form a plan of life. Waste time as usual. Spend as much time as you can in idle pursuits.

Let your eyes rest on anything they notice, let your imagination wander freely, and lazy coward that you are, you will soon see how wide are the gates of hell.

If you or someone you love is falling to the sin of porn/masturbation, check out two of my other articles: Are you Finally Ready to be Free? and 3 Things I Wish You Knew about Porn

10 thoughts on “Oh Chastity is Hard? Man Up!

  1. emmafradd says:

    WOW Fr Jesus Urteaga is the bomb!

  2. Michael says:

    “one can fall to the temptation of listening only to soft words of encouragement, words that one may need to hear after a fall but not before.”

    Too true. Part of the reason why that temptation to listen to only the “soft” words is so great is that there are very few “hard” words of encouragement to be heard unless you really seek them out. One rarely hears a challenge so strong as “animal or saint:choose.” And, in that soft encouragement, another problem arises which you don’t find in the “animal or saint” archetype, namely, the belief that chastity is not a requirement. The soft nudging toward living a chaste life makes chastity itself seem more like an extra-credit assignment than it does a moral necessity, and it is a lot easier to fall when you already feel like you’re going the extra-mile just by trying.

  3. Lori8069 says:

    Amen, Brother! All the sexual sins–viewing pornography, fornication, masturbation, etc. are things that can be overcome, in time, with prayer and personal effort–you can train yourself out of these vices just as surely as you trained yourself into them.

    Every day is a new day, and provides a new opportunity to re-dedicate yourself to eliminating these things from your life–NEVER give up trying, and NEVER give up hope!!!

  4. Rachel says:

    Encouraging words Matt. btw i love the batman picture. Where do you find all these ilustrations dude? lol. 🙂

  5. Stephen says:

    Matt Fradd – this is great! Thanks for all your good work! I miss you, bro!
    God bless,
    Stephen Mierendorf
    NET Canada ’03-’05

  6. JD Ramos says:

    Are you Opus Dei, Matt?

  7. don warden says:

    Hi Matt – wasn’t sure who to talk to at C.A. about this, so i thought i would start with you. I work at Reclaim Sexual Health which is an online healing and education resource for those addicted to pornography or other unhealthy sexual behaviors. One responsibility I have is to post content to the Reclaim Plus section of the platform. This is where students can go outside the basic training program and dive deeper into topics from Theology of the Body to neuroscience and everything in between. I was listening to a podcast of CA Live with guest William Struthers. I think that program would be great for our students. I know i could simply link to your website, but from a performance/stability standpoint, i always try to use the actual file on our server. The question is, would C.A. be ok with me doing this? I would leave the C.A. bumps in the podcast (wouldn’t edit them) so students in Reclaim would also become aware of C.A. as a resource for them as well. I would a appreciate your response on this. Thanks and God bless,

  8. […] great material on fighting the good fight against porn as well as striving for chastity including a blog post I really like he put up not too long ago. I recently found and listened to Matt Fradd’s interview […]

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